Till Death Do Us Part

“I never took the time

To stop and realize

That death takes many forms

Even while alive”

—Plankeye, “Goodbye”

By far, my wife is the strongest person that I know. This is just common fact. I am positive that Superman himself comes to my wife for advice on defeating the bad guys.

Almost nine years ago, I collapsed on the closet floor and couldn't move. My life was immediately turned upside down. I spent so much energy trying to find answers. I went from doctor to doctor in an attempt to understand my new normal. I tried treatment after treatment and spent countless hours researching different protocols. I spent much of our savings trying to cure an illness, and I didn’t even know what it was.

This whole time I searched for a strength that was in front of me. My wife was holding me up through every broken hope. Through every dead end. Through every dollar spent. She represented a strength that I was missing. I did not realize that I was being held up by the one person I needed most.

She has been pivotal in my journey of health. She has shown love, compassion, and mercy as I walk the dark path that I am on. She brings light into my world and shows me the way when I get lost.

I see so many instances of health crises or financial burdens ruining families. I see couples divorce over less and know that everyone deals in their own way. However, I vowed to my wife that I would be by her side through all of life’s trials. No matter what. I vowed to love her more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. I vowed to be with her ‘till death do us part. But I never thought that death could come for those who are still alive.

Death takes many forms, and in the darkest hours, death is wished for. However, death is not an answer when those who depend on you see a beautiful resonance within your soul. I do not believe that death is the answer—ever—but I have spent my fair share of time contemplating the concept. Who would miss me? Who would understand? What would the flowers at my funeral look like? Can I have wifi in my coffin? At the end of the day, I know that my life is worth so much more than death can afford. Even though I am not perfect, I have been purchased.

I never imagined that my wife would be the defining factor of every conversation in my head. She is more than a partner. She is more than a friend. She is the one who is with me, and I know that I will never be without her love. The Bible tells us that men are to be the leaders of the household and that women are to submit to their husbands. This has been the topic of many great debates over the years. It seems that many cannot get past the surface of the text. Many consider the text to be sexist and downright degrading to women. While I would definitely agree with those arguments if that was the case, I cannot agree based on the real meaning behind the words. I will not explain; rather, I will let the Bible do the revealing.

“Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already ‘one’ in marriage.”

Ephesians 5:22-33, The Message Translation

The bottom line is that my wife does not submit to me based on some archaic ritual. She supports me in my times of need and celebrates with me in our times of triumph. I give her my whole heart in trust and respect. I value her thoughts and opinions. I walk with her and enjoy life because of her. My best is only complete when she is around to make me better.

She has held me up for so long that I weep at the thought of her going one more day living in this torture. My illness has destroyed me, but through Him I am made whole, and with her I am strong enough to face one more day.